Helpful Tools For Improving Relationships, Intentional Living with Tanya Hale

The host, Tanya, describes the show like this. I help to empower other LDS women by teaching them the concepts and tools they need to transform their own lives into something they love. This could be wanting to work on improving relationships with a spouse, adult children. It could also be if you’re working through the challenges of divorce and figuring out how to heal and move forward.  The length of each episode is around 30 minutes. 

Birthday Giveaway

I wanted to say thank you for listening to the podcast as we celebrate the second birthday of FPG this month. It has been so much fun connecting with so many of you and introducing you to all the cool podcasts and the people who make them. As a thank you for another great year, I wanted to give one of my listeners a package full of my favorite things.

I asked on my Instagram stories what y’all wanted for the giveaway and the people have spoken. The favorite things package was definitely the winner. All you have to do to get your name in the drawing for the giveaway is to fill out a quick demographic survey linked above. I’ll choose one of you to win the favorite things package at the end of the month. Thank you so much for filling out this survey. It’ll help me make sure to find podcasts that you will enjoy and find sponsors that align with your wants, needs, and desires. I can’t wait to give away my favorite things package. 

Meeting Tanya

My name is Tanya Hale. I am a life coach and I focus mostly on coaching middle aged women on relationships. Relationships are just fascinating to me. I was married for 24 years and then got divorced.  After being single for six and a half years and got remarried a year and a half ago. I have seen the whole gamut of how relationships work and how they can be so dysfunctional and difficult. Improving relationships is important to me and I am applying the tools that I teach on my podcast into my new marriage. It is a phenomenal experience.

When I got married, I moved from Utah to Indiana because I can do my coaching from anywhere. I have four adult kids and I also do coaching on improving relationships with adult kids because those are challenging for so many parents. 

Life Changes as Inspiration

After my divorce I went through six months of just blaming. I thought it was all his fault and I couldn’t see anything else. Then I was introduced to Brene Brown and I started listening to a presentation of hers called The Power of Vulnerability and I was blown away.

While driving my kids around in my van I was listening to it and I was floored with what I was learning about vulnerability and how that fit into relationships. I didn’t even know vulnerability was a part of relationships, which tells you why my marriage was such a difficult place.

Podcasts as a Tool for Learning

After that I started expanding a little bit and I found a place called the Life Coach School.  At Life Coach School I learned so much there that also blew my mind. I started eating it up and I started listening to podcasts on the topic. Within six weeks I knew it was my thing.

I could see that podcasts would be the way that I needed to share with people and put my message out into the world. The next step was that I got certified and started a podcast four and a half years ago. Through my move and new marriage I have applied these tools that I have gained. I’ve seen the difference that it makes in my marriage. Marraige is a partnership in every sense of the word, and it is a deep, intimate place that I never even came close to in my previous marriage.

It is what I always felt like there was a possibility for, but just was completely stymied at how to get there. That’s the story of my podcast and how I put it out there in the world.

Improving Relationships with Empowerment Tools

I think that the thing that I love putting my podcast out there for is helping people find answers. On this show I want to help them know how to show up in a way that feels genuine and authentic to them. People need to feel empowered in how they’re showing up in their relationships and what they’re creating. Empowerment helps them to find the answers that they need for whatever the direction they’re going to go

Being Relatable and Honest

The feedback that I get from people is they feel I’m very relatable. I do share a lot of personal stuff and it’s all cleared through my husband and whoever else. One of my goals when I started it was never to bash on my ex husband.  I never wanted to say anything that put him in a horrible light. I’ve been really careful not to do that. On my show I share a lot of my own struggles with a lot of these things and my own insights.

As I go back and look at my podcast from the beginning, it really is a picture of my own growth. I can see how I have figured things out and grown into where I am now and I create a safe place for people to be humans.  You know what, gosh darn it, we are all a hot mess, every single one of us, and that’s okay. We are humans figuring it out. We’re not supposed to have all the answers. 

I try to help people create a compassionate, loving space to make mistakes and to circle back around and forgive and apologize. Beating ourselves up and getting on our own case, I think that’s one of the most harmful things that we can do if we want to grow and create something different. I work hard to create a safe space for everyone who listens to my podcast. 

Coaching for Personal Growth

One of the first rules when I work with my one on one clients on the first meeting is listen, we never beat ourselves up here.  We always create a really safe space of compassion, I want them to recognize, oh, I didn’t know that before, but now that I do, I can make some adjustments. 

For whatever reason, we have been hard on ourselves our whole lives. This perfectionist idea that really perfectionism really isn’t even a thing, right? We’ve just created this weird thing that doesn’t even exist. Learning to be compassionate to ourselves in our heads, as well as out loud is a huge skill. It’s such an important piece of this puzzle.  

Connect with Tanya for Improving Relationships

My podcast is called Intentional living with Tanya Hale. My website is TanyaHale.com. I sometimes do group coaching classes, which are kind of fun. I don’t have a super strict schedule with those, but they kind of come and go. Every Friday I send an email that is meant to be read in a minute or so. You can sign up for that on my website. I’m on the social media sites (IG and Facebook) under Tanya Hale LDS Life Coaching. 

Clean Love

The first one is number 92 and that one is called Clean Love. The reason I love this one so much is because this was a concept that came to me and I didn’t make it up. It’s one that finally clicked with me in such a way that I called it Clean Love because that’s what it seemed to be to me.

For me unconditional love was, I love you no matter what you do. You can show up however you want and I’m going to love you. Clean Love was more on the other side of this. It says, I’m going to choose to show up with love because that’s the person that I want. I’m going to take away any expectation that you show up anyway because of my loving you. That one is my favorite one because so much of the work that I’ve done since. I had that epiphany in my life, is based on the idea of clean love. 

Being a Peacemaker

I also have some that I’ve, I’ve done lately, especially that I love. Number 204 is called Being A Peacemaker.  This is one that I love because I think as women, we often step into this place of being a peacekeeper and keep the peace at any cost. It destroys us and it destroys our relationships because we don’t show up honestly. We just are like, listen, it’s fine, everything’s fine. In relationships we don’t show up to make peace, we show up to keep peace. There’s a big difference there. A peacemaker will have those hard conversations honestly, but also kindly. 

Fine, the Four Letter F Word

I did another recently, number 269, called Fine, the Four Letter F Word. That plays off of that idea that no, listen, I’m fine. Most of the times when we say that in our relationships we are actually lying. We are gaslighting and we don’t always see it as that. Sometimes we think we are just keeping the peace but when we say fine, we’re lying and we’re gaslighting. Let’s start having some honesty in our relationships. That is the only way that we are going to create the intimate partnerships that we really want. If we’re lying about even little small things, It’s going to kill us. I could probably come up with about 60 that are my favorites but those are three. 

This podcast is totally okay to have anybody listen. It’s always clean and nice. 

Tools for Improving Relationships by Topic

If you’re interested in specific topics, I have on my website a tab at the top where you can download topics. There are topics of divorce, parenting adult kids, marriage relationships, dating after divorce, working on yourself, the thought model, which is something that I use as well in my coaching, which would be more self coaching kind of stuff.

You can click on those and it will give you a list of podcasts that talk just about those specific topics. That’s a really great resource because I have almost 300 podcasts out at this point and nobody’s going to go back and listen to all 300. It would be amazing if they did, because I think they would learn some great stuff, but we don’t have time for that in our lives.