Move Past Perfectionism, About Progress

Links from this Episode

• Podcast Consultation Form
• About Progress Podcast Website 
• About Progress Instagram  
• Free Do Something List Training 
• Christopher Clark Episode 
• Kim White from Kim Can Kick Episode 
• Emily Bell Episode  
• Dr. Jennifer Finlayson Fife Episode 

Monica Packer, the host of About Progress, describes her show like this. “All the self-help extremes out there seem to be designed for perfect robots, but you are a real woman. Living a real life about progress is a podcast and community that’s all about progress made practical.” The length of each episode varies. There are some episodes that are around 15 minutes long and others that are around 45 minutes long.

Podcast Consultations 

I’ve been able to talk to some amazing podcasters about their shows while doing interviews for the Friendly Podcast Guide. Along the way, I’ve learned so many tips and tricks on how to start a podcast from the hosts I’ve interviewed and from personal experience. I’ve talked to those hosts about what made their launch successful and what made it more difficult.

I for sure know what I would do differently if I could go back and launch my show again. Now I want to share my knowledge with you. I’m offering podcast consults and I have a couple of spots open in the next month. If you need help nailing down your podcast idea, figuring out your niche or have any other podcast questions, I would love to work with you to make your show’s launch the best it can be.

If you’re interested in working with me, fill out the intake form in the show notes. I can’t wait to make a podcast plan that is tailored to you and your podcast, and we’ll make your launch as smooth and successful as possible. 

Meeting Monica

My name’s Monica. I currently live in the Salt Lake area with my husband and five kids. I love hiking, people should know that. I also love baking equally as much. They are two big passions of mine.

This all started as part of an experiment I took on when I was about to approach my 30th birthday. I had three small children at the time, and I was realizing that all these things I had thought about doing for years, I kept not taking chances and doing them.

There was a whole other facet too, of feeling really stuck in my life and not really knowing who I was anymore and feeling very unfulfilled. I didn’t want my life to change. I still wanted to be, at that time,  a stay-at-home mom to my kids. Honestly, that’s what needed to be for my family too. There was no money for any form of childcare. I didn’t want to go back to work as a teacher. So I wanted my life, I just wanted to feel different and I wanted it to feel more like myself. As I was approaching that 30th birthday I was realizing this is a big milestone and I didn’t want to feel this way when I turned 40, and 50, and 60.

The Need for Progress

I think that means things need to change. For me, that means I needed to get off the sidelines of my life. As I reflected on what was holding me back, a good therapist pointed out that I was also a perfectionist. I didn’t think I was because after being an overachieving perfectionist for so long, I became an underachieving perfectionist.

That was my life for the 10 years prior to that 30th birthday. I had to tie that all together and say it is time for me to discover who I am. It’s time to explore who that person is. The way I had to do that was by learning how to embrace progress for progress’ sake. I had to work on things I wanted to do, not because of outcomes, but because of the fulfillment I can get from them.

Combating Perfectionism  

I wanted to just start by giving myself permission to be mediocre. So I started a list of what’s now known as the “do something list” in my community. We all do something, not all, not nothing. 

As part of that list, there were a bunch of things on there that do not matter and will never matter. For example, making 20 new recipes or trying five new ice cream shops. Going on five new hikes in the area or going to an art gallery by myself. 

In the process of doing those things and doing them poorly, a couple weird things happened. One is that I weirdly gained confidence even though I was bad at things. It was okay for me to be taking chances. The second is that I also gained more of a sense of self. I was able to pick apart what I liked and what I didn’t like. I could parse out, this is who I am and this is what matters to me, and these are my values. It helped me to step more into that in my day-to-day life. Then another thing that happened was a trickle down effect, starting a blog.

Be Willing to Start

That became like one of those mediocre blogs that nobody read. I was bad at it, but I still felt so good learning something. I was growing and talking about things that mattered to me. It was all over the place. As part of that, I had this weird courage and also weird experience behind me to then start a weird podcast about progress.

I knew I could do it bad, so I could do it. Now I’ve been doing it for almost seven years. It’s all part of this accidental experiment that changed my life and continues to do so. 

Podcasting is a weird medium. As a podcaster, you really do feel like you’re shouting into the void because you don’t get to see reactions. It’s very rare that people send you an email or a DM or even a review to say, I like this and this changed my life in that way. You don’t really know how it’s affecting people.

Taking Chances for Growth 

What I hope people to get from my podcast connects a lot to my own story. When I was doing my original do something list, some of the pieces of myself that I picked up again included that I love to learn. I also love to grow. That was what had been missing in my 10 years of underachieving perfectionist perfectionism. Even though I was staying safer than when I got really burnt out as an overachieving one. I lost so much of myself in that process of being an underachieving one because I wasn’t really growing in my personal life anymore. 

I was that kid growing up who at 4:00 PM every day was watching Oprah and taking notes and learning and loving that. What I want women to take away are similar things of what I’ve taken away from my own growth the past seven years, and it is that I want them to learn better who they are.

Helping Others Grow

I also want them to learn better, how to prioritize feeling like themself and taking care of themselves. It’s about not just learning, although that’s a big part of it. because we explore so many topics. We learn from so many great people and I like to teach on there too. I don’t want them to just learn, but I want them to change. I want them to be willing to take steps to move past perfectionism. 

That is where the practical side of progress comes in. We made a little bit of a pivot two years ago where I shifted from just interviews and learning from people to being like, no, like let’s actually change. Let’s do this in a practical way. It is progress made practical. That’s what I want for my listeners. I want them to take what they’re learning and make small changes in their lives that will over time make big differences. 

Bringing Happiness and Empowerment 

When I was originally giving myself permission to make a terrible podcast, I made a lot of mistakes along the way. I shared a lot of those mistakes so other women wouldn’t make them who wanted to start their own shows.

One of the ones I did not make a mistake about was knowing that I wanted women to feel happy when they listen to the podcast. When I was trying to pitch someone kind of big on the show, I was trying to explain what my audience is about and what we do here. This phrase that I used in a pitch email that now gets said every episode and has for years, near the end of the episode. I say, I hope this episode gave you the hug and kick in the pants you need to grow. That’s how I would explain the vibe of the show. This is for recovering perfectionists who need a hug, but they also need a kick in the pants to get going to try things, to change, to grow. That’s the vibe. 

My hope is that they get that and thing, I feel seen, I feel hope. I feel empowered and I also feel like I can do this and I’m ready to take that next step. They should feel ready to do something to grow. 

Connect with About Progress

You can search for About Progress on the app you’re already on.

We are getting close to 500 episodes and many of those are short. About a third of them are shorter episodes. You can go and pick a few that you think match what you want and need and listen to them. I’m also on Instagram, About Progress.

An Honor to Hear From Them

It is very hard for me to choose, especially because I have such a huge archive. In general, the episodes that I feel the greatest honor to have shared are those who of my guests who have passed away. One was a guest named Christopher Clark. He went by Topher, short for his name. I interviewed him right before he lost his voice because he had ALS. As an actor and director his voice had been very important to him. He lost his voice shortly after we recorded the podcast and then passed away a year or two later. So to be able to have his voice recorded for his family just meant so much to me. We had to record that episode broken up because it was hard for him. He got exhausted after about 20 minutes of speaking. I love being able to share that one. 

I’ve also have Kim White from Kim Can Kick It who passed away from cancer. Another guest recently who also passed away from cancer, Emily Bell. 

Being able to have those kind of episodes for not only their family, but for the whole world. There is a Latin phrase about embracing that we are going to die.  So having those episodes are really a huge honor for me. 

Monica’s Favorites

I would say my very favorite ones though, I have a couple solos that I love.  One just aired one about how to live with purpose instead of seeking purpose. For all those people are like, what is my purpose? What’s my mission? That’s one I would encourage you to listen to. 

My favorite guest of all time is Dr. Jennifer Finlayson Fife. We’ve recorded maybe eight times together. The one we just did this year in 2023, aired in January.  It has to be my favorite of all the ones we’ve recorded together. The first one we recorded together, my 13th or 14th episode of the podcast accidentally went viral. I did not know how fortunate that was. It’s on perfectionism, but this one from 2023 is about self expansion and it has got to be probably my favorite episode.

That’s like choosing between children so I almost feel bad putting that out there, but it’s extra incredible. 

Safe for Little Ears 

I’ve always been pretty conscientious that most of my listeners are moms. We never allow swearing on the show and most of my podcasts episodes are okay with little ears around. If they’re not, I will typically tell you in the introduction. Dr. Jennifer Finlayson Fife, for example, is a sex therapist, and we typically haven’t talked about intimacy. If I have a very specific episode on something like that I will say it in the intro, listen to this one with earbuds in.